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This Is Totally Not The News. It Never Has Been, It Never Will Be.

Andy Ritchie
Andy Ritchie 12 December 2014 at 16.35

Christmas is coming, which mean the actual newsy news is slowing down. Instead, we spent most of the week dicking about with the Is This Band Emo? website and watching this happy deathcore video over and over. Here's some other stuff that doesn't much matter.

Ashton 5 Seconds Of Summer tried to get super close with Morrisons. The supermarket. Wait, What? yet, there's been no reply from Morrisbae.

When he wasn't trying to chat up British supermarkets this week, Ashton spent some time hanging out with Steel Panther.

A friendship in blossom, we hope.

Also this week: Paramore's Hayley Williams totally endorsed her man making out with his bandmate.

Brendan Kelly (he of Wandering Birds / The Lawrence Arms fame) found himself in a deep, dark corner of the internet.

We've all been there, mate. It's not pretty. 

Jono from The Swellers had this piece of wisdom to share.

Issues' Tyler Carter got real. Craig David-style.

Derek State Champs went under the knife.


About to get my last wisdom tooth out.. In style. Wish me luck ��

A photo posted by Derek DiScanio (@dereksteez) on

It's been a slow week. Hasn't it, Jono Blitz Kids?

Oh GOD it's been a slow week.

RS office fact: We compile our Not The News round-up in an online spreadsheet, and add to it as the week progresses. The note next to this one just said: "The internet will probably like this picture of a dog eating cheese". And guess what? Nobody's owned up to it.


Making my servants bring me my cheese platter. Feeeeeeed Meeee!

A photo posted by Colby Jack (@colbythefrenchie) on

So internet, tell us. Do you like this picture of Telle Smith from The Word Alive's dog Colby eating cheese? DO YOU?!

Elsewhere this week, Hopeless Records and Alex All Time Low had some #classic #internet #banter

While Slipknot / Stone Sour man Corey Taylor invented a new Twitter-based drinking game.

We started playing this half an hour ago and our ad guy is already comatose. FRIDAY! 

Aaaaaand finally: Aled Phillips (ex-Kids In Glass Houses) confirmed via one solitary tweet that now he's not in a band anymore, he's just like the rest of us.

Welcome back to the real world, Aled. It pays better than being in a band, but it's full of shitty, shitty problems like this.

We'll be back on Monday for more of the actual news. In the meantime, why not get yourself one of these for some light weekend reading?

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