"The darkness is some place I visit. I don't live there."
Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor has spoken about traumatic experiences from his past on TV show The Therapist.
On the show, Dr. Siri Sat Sam Singh speaks with musicians to "discover what lies beneath their public personas."
Corey touched on sensitive topics during the interview, which some people may find upsetting.
During the programme, Corey recalled being left for dead by friends when he was 17.
"I was a party, with a lot of different things flying around."
"The last thing I remember was taking cocaine and all of the sudden I was waking up in a dumpster. All my friends were gone.”
“What I think happened was they thought I was dead. You can’t call them friends really. That was like the defining moment for me and that’s when I moved. This was in Waterloo, Iowa, where my mom and my sister live. And I moved to Des Moines, to live with my grandmother to break that cycle, to get away from it, to start new."
You can watch a trailer for the programme here:
Corey went on to talk about attemping suicide, during a particularly dark time in his life.
"I only really seriously attempted suicide once. I took a bunch of pills at my grandmother's house and just basically laid on the floor. And my ex-girlfriend’s mom stopped at my grandma’s house out of nowhere to check on me, to see how I was. [She] found me. An hour later, I’m drinking ipecac and throwing up into a bucket."
"The girlfriend whose mother found me had just broken up with me. There was just something about her that I really connected with but when that went away, a lot of me went with it. I felt so empty that I had a hard time feeling anything other than grave depression. It was the one time I really was like I 'can’t handle this.'”
"It was definitely one of my rock bottoms. My grandmother came and picked me up. My grandmother, who has been the one person in my life. She came and picked me up and she was so disappointed.”
“I could see it on her. You know, it was almost like a race of emotion. She was disappointed, she was glad I was okay, but she was so mad. And that killed me and it hurt so much that I didn’t — like it almost put me over again that I immediately just said okay, it’s not somethin’ you come back from.”
You can see Corey speaking about depression and suicide in this clip, from the You Rock Foundation.
Corey also spoke about being sexually abused by a neighbour, when he was 10 years old.
“I was raped by someone in the neighbourhood. Where we were living at the time—we moved around a lot so obviously I had to make friends quickly”, he explained.
"There was really only one person to hang out with, to play with and he was this 16-year-old kid. And he would invite me over to his house to play music and one day it became something else.”
“I didn’t tell anybody for a long time because he threatened to hurt me and threatened to hurt my mom. He ended up burning his house down. They fled in the night, it was kind of crazy."
"It took me a long time to feel safe. I didn’t tell anybody until I was, probably, 18. And by that time, I had found my tribe, as it were, my tribe of misfits”.
He went on to reflect on how fatherhood has changed his life.
“The only thing I ever wanted to be is a dad, and now I have three amazing kids.” Corey said.
“I never want my kids to go through what I went through, so it was very important for me to, right out of the gate, set up college funds. Bills were paid, clothes were bought, food was made, everything… solid foundation. They have a place to live, they have a room that's theirs, they don’t have to worry about anything, they’re protected.”
"The darkness is some place I visit," he says. "I don't live there."