We welcome new columnists Patty Walters and Chrissy Costanza this month. Here’s a taste of Patty’s awesome new advice page…
HI PATTY. WHAT'S YOUR ADVICE ON DEALING WITH LONG DISTANCE FRIENDSHIPS? I HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL INTERNET FRIENDS (LARGELY THANKS TO AS IT IS!) BUT IT SUCKS THAT THEY'RE ALL SO FAR AWAY... BETH "Hey Beth! Take consolation in the fact that most friendships mostly hang out over social media these days. If you guys were hanging out, you’d probably still be swapping yours and your pets’ faces or exchanging TØP memes. I know that can’t replace hanging out face to face, but maybe it’ll remind you that your means of communicating is a real and fundamental part of modern friendship."
DEAR PATTY, WHICH FLAVOUR OF ICE CREAM SHOULD I BUY?
"Hey Kat! Most people don’t fully grasp the magnitude of their day-to-day choices, but it’s clear that you, like I, do. The butterfly effect applies to every decision, remember. You might choose mint chocolate and meet the love of your life before you’ve even left the shop, but you might choose vanilla bean and get mauled to death by a panda that’s escaped from the zoo...
"But these things can’t be foretold, Kat, so choose what sounds tastiest and hope for the best."
HI PATTY! PEOPLE ALWAYS JUDGE ME FOR BEING STRAIGHT EDGE. DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS ON HOW TO SLAY THE HATERS? MANOU
"Hey Manou! The best way to 'slay the haters', as you so eloquently put it, is to be proudly and confidently yourself. People will always have their misguided opinions and objections, but you should just stand tall, be yourself, and find solace in what brings you happiness. Tolerate their nonsense until the conversation dwindles and then carry on being your rad and forward-thinking self."
You can email your questions to Patty at [email protected] and read his FULL column in this month’s magazine, which is in UK stores now, available to read on your phone and to order worldwide.