Corey Taylor has been penning columns for Rock Sound for over a decade, and in that time he's covered a lot of ground. Seriously, the man has opinions on EVERYTHING. To celebrate our new issue hitting the shops today (that one with Slipknot on the cover, duh), we're looking back on some of The Great Big Mouth's most memorable tidbits. Take it away, Corey...
Corey Taylor, 2014 / Photo credit: Manon Violence
COREY ON... THE DEATH OF CERTAIN MEDIUMS
"RADIO IS DEAD. The once-bright star that was public broadcasting has been destroyed by greed and corproate muscle to the point that even the music that is completely repugnant is positioned to be popular."
Issue 88, September 2006
COREY ON... REALITY
"Reality, for all intents and purposes, is just life - the real world, pure and uncut, shot straight to the vein of our souls every day we draw breath. Whether it's good or bad, it's still reality; the opposite of illusion, the foe of fantasy, and the anchor that keeps us stuck on this plane. And thank Buddha it does, because some people need it in huge doses."
Issue 89, October 2006
COREY ON... IMMORTALITY
"Everybody's trying to live forever, and that's some funny shit. In an era when crime, hate and bad sequels are rampant, why would anybody want to fucking live forever?"
Issue 90, November 2006
COREY ON... EVIL
"Whether it's the Axis of Evil, or the evils of eating meat, it is a concept that has all but lost the impact it once had, because everyone thinks different things in this world are evil. PETA thinks what we do to animals is evil, but I think their overzealous approach is evil. Evil, in more ways than one, is comparable to the truth: definitions vary from one individual to the next."
Issue 91, December 2006
COREY ON... LIFE'S CHOICES (AND MAKING THE RIGHT ONES)
"From depression to ceiling fans, I've been through it all. I've taken almost every step that life has to offer and invariably I've found several different endings to my Choose Your Own Adventure stories. I've lived, loved, sacrificed and scraped for this existence, this paltry little city state I call my time so far. And by God, I wouldn't change a single frame of this movie."
Issue 93, February 2007
COREY ON... SHITTY COVER SONGS
"Is anybody else fucking tired of everybody doing really shitty covers of very good songs? Are any of you fed up with the butchery these bands do in the name of playing it safe when they can't come up with any good ideas anymore? Am I the only one? You're all cool with it? I'm alone in this? Alright, I'll put a sock in it then."
Issue 94, March 2007
COREY ON... IMMEASURABLE QUANTITIES
"Now there are four different levels of mess. These are, on a graduating scale: a whole mess, a big mess, a big FUCKING mess, and the mother of them all, the shitty mess. A whole mess is a mess minus three. A big mess is time and a half. A big fucking mess is a double mess. A shitty mess is a double big mess in the case of a tie-breaker, in which case you carry the one and move the chains."
Issue 95, April 2007
COREY ON... SPORTS
"It seems like anyone will turn a game into a sport these days. Hell, it doesn't even have to be a game. I swear one night I turned on ESPN and they were live from the 2007 Olympic Hula Hoop Masters Competition. See what I mean? I don't know what it is in our competitive nature that makes us do shit like that, but I'll be damned if I won't make fun of it."
Issue 98, July 2007
COREY ON... BEING SELF-AWARE
"To be honest, in the six-and-a-half years I've been writing this column, I have bitched up a storm, covering the spectrum from reality TV and racism to my much bally-hoed Totally Pointless Debates. I seem to have left in my wake a catalogue of topics longer than a soccer mom's shopping list."
Issue 100, September 2007
COREY ON... FIGURING OUT WHAT MAKES YOU YOU
"Before tomorrow, make a list of your traits. Make YOUR list - who you are and why. Then ask yourself this question: where did it come from? Are you the way you are because it is what you want... or what they want? Are you a product of your imagination or someone else's? Think about it."
Issue 104, Christmas 2007
COREY ON... ADOLESCENCE
"I moved to Des Moines when I was 15. I asked my mother to give up costody and sign parental rights over to my grandmother, who I lived with while I went to school. I was clean and finally starting to figure myself out. I can only say that now without laughing. I was still very out of my own place, and I didn't even know what that place was. All I knew was that I could write music, that I had no idea what that could mean and that I was still surrounded by people I couldn't relate to. I hadn't found my tribe yet."
Issue 105, January 2008
Corey performs at Sonisphere 2011 with Slipknot
COREY ON... HIS FIRST CRUSH
"When I was a kid, I had THE biggest crush on Helen Reddy. I mean like for REAL crush - like 'spend some time in the bathroom thinking about her' crush. I blme Pete's Dragon. There she was - flushed, singing, clas in a tight wet plaid shirt. Judas Priest she was fabulous."
Issue 108, April 2008
COREY ON... POPULAR IDEAS AND PROTEST
"Popular thought appeals to crowds, gatherings and tribes, who use it as a way to guide the herd. It is very evident in protests - sometimes the very people doing the protesting have NO IDEA what they are talking about."
Issue 110, June 2008
COREY ON... HIS OWN HEROES
"On June 22, 2008, at the age of 71, an American revolutionary died. he was a bona fide genius, an outspoken critich, a literary giant and an unprecedented visionary. For 50 years he entertained, challenged and amazed not only my generation, but also ones before mine and well after. He was sensational, brilliant, iconic and unique - the quintessential individual. He was my lifelong hero. His name was George Carlin."
Issue 113, September 2008
COREY ON... LETTING GO OF THE ONES YOU LOVE
"You can make a thousand promises to yourself that you'll take that same fantastic love and give it to someone else, but the moment you see that person with someone else, it's like a gut full of razorblades. It never gets easier. And it shouldn't, really."
Issue 115, November 2008
COREY ON... THE '90s
"The '90s were indeed a great time to be alive. There was a sense of optimism that I never felt before that decade and I haven't felt since."
Issue 116, December 2008
COREY ON... EMO
"Emo is pathetic. It's a tired attempt at making bad music cool, all while rocking dumb haircuts and unisexual belts. Furthermore, adding the suffix '-core' to a description doesn't make it innovative. It makes you look like a tool with no imagination."
Issue 119, February 2009
COREY ON... JAPAN
"Japan is a wonderful country, a strange mixture of ancient mystique and cyberpunk saturation. It's a monolith of society's achievements, yet maintains a foothold in the past, creating an amazing backdrop for tourings and natives alive. Japan captures the imagination like no other. You never feel quite so far from home as you do in Japan, yet there are no other people on the planet that make you feel as comfortable."
Issue 122, May 2009
COREY ON... FAITH (AND THE AFTERLIFE)
"I just don't care if I go to hell. I don't care if I'm a target for bigoted disciples on the side of the Lord. No one can prove to me that there is a God, alien or otherwise - and FAITH IS NOT PROOF. Trees exist, I'm surrounded by them. Mannequins exist, they're in every damn store window on Beverly Drive. Crazy people exist, because in Iowa alone there are more churches than schools or hospitals combined. That's fucking proof."
Issue 125, August 2009
Corey and Slipknot grace the cover of RS194. Order / download / buy it TODAY!
COREY ON... LAS VEGAS
"It's one giant Bowflex commercial covered in booze vomit."
Issue 129, December 2009
COREY ON... FATHERHOOD
"I still have night terrors about things happening to my son. The worst things cross your mind when you care so much. I keep them at bay as best I can, and it's a struggle for me not to just do everything for him."
Issue 131, January 2010
COREY ON... INDEPENDENCE
"It was always a thrill for me, getting out of the cocoon and wandering. I'd let the wind wrap around me like fire and slip into the unknown with a moment's hesitation."
Issue 133, March 2010
COREY ON... WISING UP TO AUTHORITY
"I am tired of the superficial smiles that adorn the many ghouls among us. I am tired of the righteous indignation that hides beneath those visages that feign our best interest and deign to think we cannot and will not stand for ourselves."
Issue 138, August 2010
COREY ON... THE TOURING LIFE
"I'm living on coffee, cigarettes and hospitality food. My bags and things are all over this hotel room in Dallas, but the scene could easily be in London, Paris, New York of LA. My eyes are burning, my knees hurt and I hate to say it, but a certain and vital part of my nether region is beginning to smell like peanut butter. Welcome to life on tour."
Issue 141, November 2010
COREY ON... SOCIAL MEDIA
"Twitter. Honestly, that's all I really have to say to explain insanity."
Issue 142, December 2010
COREY ON... FAME
"I mean come on. Do you know how easy it is to be famous these days? Do you have any idea? The web has made it plausible to have your very own platform to stand and spew nonsense from on an hourly basis. There's an old saying: when everyone is special, no one will be. These days, everybody thinks they're special, so no one really does anything to be special anymore."
Issue 144, February 2011
Corey with Slipknot, 2014 / Photo credit: Manon Violence
COREY ON... BEING A WILD MAN
"I'm not sure if you know this about me, so if you don't, please let me clarify just as quickly as I can: I'm a fucking WILD man."
Issue 148, June 2011
COREY ON... HELPING YOUR FELLOW MAN (OR WOMAN)
"When was the last time we just broke out of our shells and helped? When was the last time we stopped bitched and started contributiong? Has patience become a casualty to this bottomless pit of self-gratification? It is positively poisonous."
Issue 149, July 2011
COREY ON... GIVING A SPEECH AT OXFORD UNIVERSITY
"I didn't write my speech until the night before, and even then I refused to write it out like I would say it, preferring to keep cribbed notes I could come back to if necessary. I wanted this to feel like a conversation because it was what I wanted to say that mattered, not how it looked on paper."
Issue 153, October 2011
COREY ON... HIS GREATEST INFLUENCE
"People ask me all the time what or who my influences are. To be honest, it would take a decent set of encyclopedias to get them all down. I am here today to let the world know my greatest influence, my secret ingredient, really. What inspires me? That's simple: COFFEE."
Issue 154, November 2011
COREY ON... SMELLS
"You ever tasted a smell? It's a very strange feeling. I've done it quite a few times and it still freaks me out."
Issue 155, December 2011
COREY ON... WHAT LIES AHEAD
"I don't know whether we will find ourselves in the cross hairs, pulled by the short hairs, or just trying to find the next inane hairstyle. But change is coming; it is inevitable. It is as steady and reliable as a ticking clock."
Issue 156, January 2012
COREY ON... KEEPING YOUR OWN BACK COVERED
"When shit hits the fan, it flies in all directions. Just do your best not to be standing in its radius when someone hits the bloody switch."
Issue 165, September 2012
COREY ON... THE UK
'I've got to be honest, and I'm not just saying this because the majority of you reading this live there, but I love the United Kingdom. I just flat-out love it."
Issue 166, October 2012
COREY ON... GROWING UP AND LOOKING BACK
"When you're a kid, nine times out of 10, everthing is pure depending on how you grow up. Everything is new as a kid, so it's all amazing and wonderful. But as we get older, things start to lose their luster or possibly their relevance. Things don't mean as much as they did then. I know the feeling."
Issue 172, April 2013
Corey performing with Slipknot at Knotfest, 2014
COREY ON... LIFE'S WEIRD AND WONDERFUL TURNS
"The first time I can remember being on a stage in front of an audience was one that came with triumph, adrenaline and a childlike tragedy. The first time I was on a stage, it wasn't even a music concert. It was a magic show. That being said, the life I lead now isn't what you would call 'destiny'."
Issue 176, August 2013
COREY ON... GOOD PARENTING
"Here's a fucking tip from ol' Uncle Ballbag: if you don't want a listless zombie sitting in his or her room for hours on end, kick the little shit outside for some fresh fucking air. You are THE PARENT. You are THE ADULT. It's not up to THE CHILD."
Issue 177, Summer 2013
COREY ON... ACTUALLY BEING A GOOD PARENT
"I want you to understand something: I am loving father who would do anything for his kids, whether they are mine or belonging to others in my family."
Issue 178, September 2013
COREY ON... GROWING OLDER (AGAIN)
"It seems like every year I hear more and more people bitch about getting older. I mean, I knew that culture was obsessed with perpetual youth, but fuck me, I heard a 30-year-old complain about it the other day. 30? You fuckin' shitting me? THIRTY? You JUST left your twenties you fucking tool bag."
Issue 181, December 2014
COREY ON... BULLYING
"Bullying. Not sure if I've touched on this subject enough but I'm going to make this fucking simple: bullies are cowards. People who have the strength to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves but then choose to use it against the weak are fucking cowards. It's that simple."
Issue 184, March 2014
COREY ON... JUSTIN BIEBER
"Justin Bieber is a douche bag. Now that I have your attention, let's talk about cars."
Issue 186, May 2014
COREY ON... THE STUPIDITY OF MANKIND
"I can't keep up. Too many humans are doing too many dumb things for me to keep track, and it's pissing me off. Every day, I wake up to new fuck-stick moves by the public and I can only comment on so many at a time. Thank Buddha I have this column and my books, or I'd have around a million aneurysms, all with cute little nicknames."
Issue 188, July 2014
COREY ON... TAKING THE ROUGH WITH THE SMOOTH
"If everything is happy go-lucky all the time, you don't know when you're experiencing joy and feeling life at its finest moments. You have to suffer a little."
Issue 190, Summer 2014
To read more from the mind of Corey Taylor, grab the new issue of Rock Sound for our explosive feature on Slipknot's past, present and future. You can download it RIGHT NOW from this link, order a copy to your door from this one, or pick it up from UK stores TODAY!
And if you want to keep up with Corey's weird and wonderful thoughts every month, SUBSCRIBE to the magazine. He writes a column for us every single issue, and he hasn't missed one yet. For real.
Slipknot's incredible fifth album '.5: The Gray Chapter' is out now. The band will bring their Prepare For Hell Tour to the UK in the new year, with support from Korn:
14 - DUBLIN Arena
16 - SHEFFIELD Motorpoint Arena
18 - GLASGOW Hydro
19 - NEWCASTLE Metro Radio Arena
20 - MANCHESTER Phones 4U Arena
22 - LIVERPOOL Echo Arena
23 - LONDON Wembley Arena
24 - CARDIFF Motorpoint Arena
26 - NOTTINGHAM Capital FM Arena
27 - BIRMINGHAM Barclaycard Arena