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Check Out Some Of Patty Walters’ Best Advice EVER

Rob Sayce
Rob Sayce 3 February 2018 at 13.39

Need some wisdom? We know just the guy.

Patty Walters answers your questions in his column every month - only in Rock Sound - and he's full of great advice.

Here are 10 of our favourite nuggets of wisdom from the As It Is frontman, on everything from sleep to cereal-related dilemmas.

1."Every time I try to sleep my brain suddenly becomes super-active. Any tips on how to shut it down?" - Steph

"Firstly, stop staring at any kind of screen. I know we all love to just scroll infinitely in a borderline unconscious state of equal parts apathy and self-loathing, but there are so many better ways to spend your time."

"Secondly, I find that falling asleep with a podcast or audiobook playing works really well for me; listening to music usually keeps me too attentive to fall asleep."

"Lastly, try not to get frustrated or emotional when falling asleep proves difficult; relaxing your body will reduce your tossing and turning, and calming your mind slows your erratic thoughts to a halt."

2. "I want to start a YouTube channel, but I know everybody at school will find it and laugh at it. I'm not exactly great at singing or playing, I just enjoy it. Any advice?" - Lily
"If starting a YouTube channel is something that will make you happy, then who gives a shit what anyone else thinks? Sure, maybe that’s easier said than done, but it’s also totally fucking true."

"Regardless, whether you’re an average or an awesome musician, the more you do a thing, the better you become at that thing over time."

"I don’t think I’m particularly great at anything I do in life, but I have an insanely fun time doing it, and I encourage you to do the same."

3. "So, I'm really hungry and I have cereal in my room, but I don't have any milk. There's milk in the fridge, but my mum is in the kitchen and I don't want to steal it and run to my room. What should I do? As is it even okay to eat cereal at 6pm? Should I just take the milk or eat cereal without milk? Help me please." - Tuuli 
"Deliberate no longer, I have the solution to your problem. Step one: very sneakily manoeuvre your way downstairs."

"Step two: convincingly mimic the battle cry of the hippopotamus. Provided that your battle cry is well executed, your mum will flee the house, running for her life."

"Third and final step: enjoy your deliciously milky cereal. Also, cereal is totally acceptable to eat any 
time ever."

4. "I have a problem. I've spent over £1,000 on tickets, travel and merch but how do I stop spending money on As It Is when they're so great?" - Sian 
Hey Sian! My 100 per cent, totally unbiased advice is that you don’t stop giving them your money. Why? Because they probably appreciate support like yours beyond words."

"They probably never thought in their wildest dreams they’d have wonderful and dedicated fans like you. They probably never expected they’d have anyone singing their lyrics back in their faces or queuing for hours before their shows."

"And, were they writing these words, they would probably say thank you for everything you and all of their lovely fans have done for their band."

5. "My parents keep trying to send me to therapy because I like rock music. How can I make them understand that it doesn't mean I need help?" - Hayley
"Firstly, that’s fucking absurd. Nobody needs therapy because of their music taste. Secondly, liking something that your parents can’t understand is perfectly normal. Thirdly, horror films don’t breed satanists, video games don’t breed mass murderers, and listening to rock music never inherently warrants therapy, so try to explain that your mental wellbeing is a result of your upbringing and hardships, not the bands you listen to.

"Finally, there’s never anything shameful about going to therapy. We all feel, we all struggle, and we all need more than just ourselves sometimes."

6. I'm trying to write lyrics but I can't piece them together at all, I have over 200 pages and none of them seem to fit together, please help... - Aesc
Start by highlighting your strongest lyrics and scrapping your weakest. Next, from one or several of your strongest, decide on the core message, perspective, or story that your lyrics will convey."

"Fitting thoughts to catchy melodies without losing their sentiment or meaning is a delicate procedure. On the other hand, you could always just use all two-hundred pages of lyrics to create one really epic song."

7. How did your parents react to your first tattoo? I want to get tattoos but my dad is really against it. I just wanna be covered in them! - Sam
"My parents weren’t at all happy when I got my first tattoo. My mum once called me in the middle of getting tattooed, telling me to stop."

"She didn’t seem to care that the tattoo was half-finished and would’ve looked ridiculous had I gotten up and left!"

"The truth is, your body belongs to no one but you; it’s yours to modify, destroy and reimagine however you like. People will have their opinions, which you can consider or not, but yours is the opinion that truly matters."

8. Any tips on going to gigs alone? None of my friends really listen to the bands I listen to. Should I just go to shows alone or is that weird? - Dean
"There’s nothing like going to a gig alone to make you feel cripplingly awkward and self-conscious. However, no matter how many eyes you feel piercing your skin, nobody is paying close enough attention to notice that you’re alone."

"It’s also worth remembering that every person in that venue, unlike your friends, does listen to the same bands you do. You might end up making a lifelong friend, and if not, at least you got to watch a band you like play a sick show."

9. I've been invited to a party where I know everyone will be drinking, but I don't really enjoy it. I'm worried people will think I'm weird because of it. - Lauren
"In short, yes, some people will think you’re weird, and that’s okay. Your life and your choices are for you and for nobody else."

"Many people in the world struggle to respect life choices and values that challenge their own; they feel threatened by ideals that they don’t share or understand."

"Always prioritise your own happiness, and just try to shrug off any disapproval and dismissal that may come your way (with that said, peer pressuring and bullying are a lot more serious and should never be encouraged or tolerated in any way)."

And finally...

10. My friend will only wear a pair of socks once before throwing them away. Tell me you find this to be excessive and unncessary. - Andrew
"So I don’t know anything else about this person, but I’m pretty sure I hate your friend. Like, do they not understand how difficult it is to do laundry on tour?"

"I’ve gone upwards of a week wearing a single pair of socks! Maybe your friend should consider donating their effectively unworn socks to touring musicians like myself. It’s not in my nature to condone violence, but next time you see your friend, please slap them in their face with their perfectly sufficient socks."

You can get more great advice like that every month in Rock Sound!

To pick up the latest issue, head here

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