Children Of Bodom are what patched-jacketwearing, anti-drugs lobbyists might like to call the cannabis resin of extreme metal. Though you could jam their records night and day and still not grow batwings and fangs, unleash the Kraken and find yourself written into The Omen’s denouement, Children Of Bodom are nonetheless good-times gateway metal, clearing the Left-Hand Path for the kids. The Finnish shred-crew’s sound is a confederacy of genres – melodic death metal, straight-up metal, a saucing of a schlocky black metal and, gasp, glam – making their hyperactive riffs and high-wire stunt guitar schtick push a whole lot of folks’ buttons. ‘Relentless Reckless Forever’ is the sort of blockbuster capable of displacing the axis of Avenged Sevenfold’s musical puke with the state-of-the-art sonics of umm, the Finnish Megadeth: with keyboards! ‘Relentless Reckless Forever’, the band’s seventh album, is more of the same but faster and stronger. Sure, they are prone to silliness – ‘Pussyfoot Miss Suicide’ is a typical off-piste moment – but there’s more than enough teeth and growl in tracks such as ‘Not My Funeral’ and ‘Roundtrip To Hell And Back’ to make you forget the keyboard riff-strangulation and desultory boozy nihilism of 08’s ‘Blooddrunk’, and think of a time when ‘Hatebreeder’ posited the band as, y’know, a potential corrupter en masse. Now, once again, the threat is real.
There's been some actual news this week. The Movielifereformed, Fightstarreturned from hiatus, and then there was Emoji Artworks. But sadly, today is our last #notthenews round-up of 2014. Try to hold back those tears while we recap all of this week's nonsense.