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Download Destruction Derby part I…

If there’s one thing I noticed about this year’s festival it’s how much people complain!

If there’s one thing I noticed about this year’s festival it’s how much people complain! Complaining about the fields, about having to walk, the bogs, the booze, how good their hair didn’t look - and that’s just the so-called VIPs who get an effin’ golf-cart around the site! What about the effin’ rock?

Friday night was party night – not only because one of my favourite land-levelling trios High On Fire blasted the complainers to hell, but with KISS playing the party soundtrack, you couldn’t help but go wild! Who gives a flying V if it was “only” Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley… Okay KISS purists, you’re entitled to grumble (yep, more people moaning) but me and my faithful companion Dyke Tyson (watch her – she’s handy with her fists) LOVED it! Especially when Paul Stanley levitated above the crowd and played ‘Love Gun’ at the sound desk! Fireworks… rock… and everyone was chuffed. It just about set us up for some hefty shot-sinking in the hospitality area. For those of you unfamiliar with the said area of concern, let me just tell you that there are NEVER any band members here, just a load of people craning their necks in case someone remotely famous passes through… There are okay bogs though, you can get some lovely cocktails (which we obviously did) PLUS they played ZZ Top – which caused Tyson to go absolutely wild and knock over a table and people and drinks… Our Friday night partner in crime, Jeff Matz (bassist of Zeke, Holy Terror and now High On Fire) helped us down a few Jaegers (drinking that stuff is messing with nature, believe.) before the trio went off into the night to catch a ferry. So we carried on dancing. Only the hardcore survive (that being Lee Dorian, Leo Smee, Bri ‘Dicko’ Dixon plus a handful of others) until we were thrown out into the night.

This was only the start of our troubles… We weren’t thrown off in a direction we were familiar with, oh no… we had to stumble down some country lane and down the main road to re-enter the site. And Tyson got lost – for some reason she thought she’s go all ‘Children Of The Corn’ on us and vanished into a field of Rapeseed. I actually heard the calls of Malachi and saw scythes… (perhaps that was due to the jaeger – or messing with nature as explained earlier). Half an hour later I found her and we staggered off once more, found another of our drinking party in distress, arguing with security guards on the gate to the site. Collecting said personage, we staggered back to the field, stopping ever six seconds to fall over/ in Tyson’s case, fight with a wall and eventually negotiated the tripwires to make it back to the tent. Hopefully we didn’t wake too many people with the blue language / violence against tent and wrecked girls vs sleeping bags (which isn’t funny, let me tell you…)